Rivel Cardigan and some musings

I do like a cardie, and I find it almost impossible to buy them – I always think ‘but I could knit that’.  Somehow I found myself without many this winter, so I did knit one.  Well, two actually, but only one photographed as yet….

   

This is the Rivel cardigan (Ravelry link), bought as a download a couple of years ago but not knitted until now.  The yarn is one of the RYC yarns – Silk Wool I think – now discontinued.  I’m pretty sure I bought this in a sale, it was several years ago now, and it has already had one incarnation as a v-neck cabled jumper.  I’d knitted that one when I bought the yarn, but I didn’t wear the jumper very often and it was too big for me – so I unravelled it.  This was quite a quick knit – the cable was only a 4-row repeat and easily memorised, and I find that sort of pattern makes the knitting go quicker somehow.  It looks pretty too, although you can’t see it that well in any of these photos, sorry….

I also shortened this considerably – partly because I’m short but also because I couldn’t remember how much wool I actually had.  In the end I finished the front bands and cast off with about a metre left – definitely more luck than judgement though!  The sleeves are my favourite 3/4 length, and I just knit these as per the pattern.  It seems that I have pretty average length arms to go with my lack of height – I don’t think I look too gorilla-like though….

I have mixed feelings about this cardigan.  It’s a nice pattern, it’s cozy without being bulky, and it’s a bit different with its lack of buttons – I use a shawl pin which works well.  It fits well, the back and shoulders are nicely fitted without being restrictive, I just think it makes me look a bit……big.  This picture in particular, and the two above, make me cringe a little:

I just look so….busty?  Not sure, but it definitely makes me think of the word ‘bosom’, and I don’t know about you but I don’t think I’m old enough to have a bosom……

Feel free to stop reading now if you’re just here for the homemade clothes!

I think part of the problem is that I’m unhappy in general at the moment with my weight.  I don’t see weight issues discussed that much in the sewing world – although there was a very interesting and thought-provoking article in Seamwork this month.  If you haven’t read it, I’d urge you to…..finished?  It really struck a chord with me, but not because it reflected my own experiences, more because it was completely the opposite of my feelings.  Sewing, and blogging too, with all the photos, has really brought home to me that I’m not comfortable being the weight I am just now.  I feel sluggish, I have no energy, my skin is terrible and I just feel generally unfit and unhealthy.  I don’t look like me, either – until relatively recently I was a UK size 10, an 8 in some brands.  I find it very difficult, and frustrating, that the picture I have of myself in my head, is massively out of sync with what I see in the mirror and in photos.  Every time I take photos for the blog I look at them and think ‘who is that person?’.  I take measurements before I cut each new pattern, and every time I think ‘that can’t be right’, I’m sure my waist is usually 29″- 30″…….

That’s not to say that I think anyone else should be unhappy with their weight – I think it’s fantastic to be comfortable in your own skin and accepting of your body, not conforming to external ideas about how women ‘should’ look.  It’s just that for me, I know that my physical and mental health are much worse at this weight.  I’m constantly surprised at how inextricably entwined those two things are – when I have poor mental health I catch every little bug that goes around, I get recurring headaches and just feel generally under the weather; conversely I’ve had a number of experiences when I’ve been in a good place, mentally, and then have had some sort of physical health issue and it’s sent me into a downward spiral.  Being overweight (actually, clinically obese according to most BMI guidance) is something I can do without!  I’ve signed back up to Weight Watchers, and started running again regularly, and so far so good – I’ve lost 6 pounds over the last 3 or 4 weeks.  From the sewing point of view, this makes things pretty tricky!  Taking measurements seems somewhat pointless when I fully expect them to have changed completely in a few months.  I’m having to tell myself at the moment that it just gives me the excuse to make a whole new wardrobe again when I’ve lost the weight I need to lose.

Part of the problem is that I blame my illness for my weight – there are a few things that I feel hugely resentful about, which changed after I spent three months in psychiatric hospital – and the main one is the weight thing.  I put on nearly 4 stone over a period of 6 months about 7 years ago – mainly due to new medication (which has a major side-effect of weight gain) which I started when I was in hospital in 2008, combined with the fact that I was actually eating properly again after 6 months of really struggling to find an appetite.  I did manage to lose 2 and a half stone a couple of years ago, when my medication had been reduced and I took up running again – combined with following a Weight Watchers plan.  Unfortunately my medication had to be increased back up to the maximum dose a year or so ago when I had a bit of a dip, and I gained back 1 and a half of those pesky stones….

I’m slowly coming to terms with the changes I’ve had to make to my life to keep me as stable as possible.  I’m really careful not to do too much and get overtired, I avoid going out ‘on a school night’ if I possibly can, and try and make sure I only have one day on any weekend where I’m out and about.  I try and exercise as much as I can (whilst fitting in plenty of sewing time…!) as I really notice a dip in my mood when I don’t.  I’m trying, and this one is going very slowly, to widen my social circle again – when I was really ill I basically didn’t feel able to maintain any social relationships except with my work colleagues – who I was forced to see every day…..I’d have been the same with them if I hadn’t been going to work.  Understandably I’m having to build some bridges with some friends who I just completely lost touch with.  On the plus side though, my illness directly led me to my husband – we met in hospital – and it gave me an excellent source of entertaining anecdotes…..!

Hopefully I haven’t scared anyone away with my personal musings – I quite like reading personal things as well as the sewing stuff, but I’m nosy, and I know it puts some people off.  I also hope I haven’t offended or horrified anyone – this was really my own very personal feelings about my weight and really not intended to pass any sort of comment on anyone else’s life.  I have way too much nasty experience of people who think they know what the ‘solution’ is, to start trying to apply my circumstances to anyone else.

 

 

Lola dress

I can’t hear the name Lola without having a little Copacabana moment to myself.  That might be partly why I like this dress so much…that and the pockets….I think I only managed to get one photo without my hands in them…..and it’s a bit blurry

This is the Lola dress from Victory Patterns, and its existence in my life is basically thanks to the Ginger Jeans prize draw I won back in the autumn.  I bought a few patterns with my voucher from Pattern Review, including this one, the Olivia T from Maria Denmark and the Sew Over It silk cami.  The fabric for this dress came from Greys Fabric, again purchased with the prize voucher.  It’s a gloriously squooshy bamboo / cotton blend french terry, in ‘plum’ and they still seem to have it in stock in this colour and some others too.  I nearly went for the grey, but I’m glad I plumped for the plum in the end – every time I wear it someone comments on the colour.  These photos show the colour more accurately I think.

I cut a size 10 at the bust, grading to a 12 at the waist and below, and I’m really pleased with the fit – those princess seams sit exactly where they should – you can just about see in the right-hand photo above – and the neckline and shoulders sit really nicely.  I also took advantage of the very helpful information included in the instructions for this pattern.  It tells you that it’s designed for a height range of 168cm – 175cm or 5’6 – 5’9 – and that’s considerably taller than me.  I took 8 cm off the length in total, split between the bottom and top halves of the pattern.  Most of my shortness tends to be between my shoulders and my waist, but there wasn’t scope to do such a big adjustment on the top pattern pieces – they’re pretty small, the seam hits just below the bust, and I didn’t want to risk having a lovely seam line right on my nipples….!  So I took 3 cm off the top pieces at the adjustment line, and 5 cm off the bottom pieces, again at the adjustment line.  These changes turned out pretty much perfectly – the waist seam hits just below the bust, and the skirt is just far enough above the knee to be flattering, without being too short.

I didn’t make any changes to the arms, and they’ve also turned out to be the perfect length – in particular they’re long enough to stay put when I bend my arms – I hate it when you end up with fabric bunched up in your elbows.

You can see here there’s a little bit of pooling at the back, but I can live with that – it’s much less when I remember to stand up straight, weight on both legs etc.  I started taking ballet classes in January and I’m hoping that my posture will benefit!  I should remember that good posture makes me look much taller and slimmer as well as being better for the old joints….!

The one thing I would be tempted to change if I make this again – and I think I probably will – would be to scoop out the neck a little more.  It’s just that tiny bit higher than my ideal neckline.

So, all in, a very successful project.  This is a super-comfy outfit, but it looks much smarter than most of the rest of my wardrobe – so I look like I’ve made an effort whilst wearing secret pyjamas….win-win!